on the cusp...

i am on the cusp of a major life transition. i will be graduating from grad school in early may. that means that i will officially be joining the "real world" with a regular schedule, consistency, structure, and responsibility. almost 21 years ago i began school and i haven't stopped...til now. school is the only thing i've ever known. ya, i've worked different jobs for many years but it's not the same when you've got classes and homework and exams.

i think the hardest part is not really knowing where i'll be or what i'll be doing after april. there's a definite anxiety for the unknown, but also excitement. i can FINALLY do what i've spent the past however many years preparing for. i love counseling. i feel so invigorated after a good therapy session. i so love trying to figure people out. it's great to know that after all the mixed bag of ups and downs of school that i made the right choice and love what i'm doing. people often tell me they don't know how i can listen to people's problems all day long. all i can say is different strokes for different folks. i could never perform the duties of a surgeon, teacher or salesman, yet others are able to love those professions. it's what makes the world work. and i truly love what i do and am so happy/excited to be able to say that. i remember a distinct moment in my early adolescence where i was in the car with my mom and thought (after she had been talking-probably complaining-about her then job), "i want a career. i want to love what i do. i want to be in control of my work." and now, that is happening.

it's one of my dreams being realized. it's a goal that i'm about to accomplish. well, it's been many, many tiny goals leading up to the big finale on may 7. not just goals but sacrifices. and not just mine. brandon's too. let's not forget the things that he has done to support me. in so many ways. they are countless. he's my #1 fan. i should get him a t-shirt.

so, long story short, i'm feeling anxious but really excited about the next phase of my life. i don't know where life is going to take me. it's like a question i heard posed one time: what do you know, that you really know? it's kind of a trick question because in reality much of what you base your life on could turn out to be fallacy or change at the drop of a hat. so, enjoy the moment. you never know when or how it could change.

this post has gotten a lil philosophical and long so i should close. but thanks for reading my ramblings.