wow, how the time has flown

can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. i'm such a sucky blogger. i'll admit. k, i've conquered the first step...

so, a few exciting things happened since my last post but some of them will have to wait for the pictures to be uploaded. yeah, it's that good. on february 17, i took my comprehensive exam. i have yet to hear how i did or didn't do but at least it's over. i'm just hoping i did well enough to not have to take the re-test. the weekend after that my aunt (my mother's sister) went to st. george for a long weekend visit. her first trip to southern utah. so, my sister and i drove down for a few days. here we are driving in the snow and slush and my sister tried to send a text message. being the older, more mature, protective sister that i am, i yelled at her! and she stopped. but we successfully made it and had a great weekend. i love visiting with family. wish we were closer so that we could do it more!

the next weekend my lil sis moved out of our basement, a.k.a. the dungeon, the man-cave. she moved in late last august and we have enjoyed long talks about the goings on each other's lives and watching trashy reality tv together. now that she's gone i miss those things. it has been over a week since i've had a real update from her! although it has been nice to not have to worry about her coming home at any possible moment. and i got to have all of my closet space back!! it's a good move for her and she's changed and grown so much over the past six months i'ma proud big sis:) you go gurl!!

last weekend, brandon and i went away for a lil vacay in san diego but i have pics for that so i'll post on that later. peace out!

on the cusp...

i am on the cusp of a major life transition. i will be graduating from grad school in early may. that means that i will officially be joining the "real world" with a regular schedule, consistency, structure, and responsibility. almost 21 years ago i began school and i haven't stopped...til now. school is the only thing i've ever known. ya, i've worked different jobs for many years but it's not the same when you've got classes and homework and exams.

i think the hardest part is not really knowing where i'll be or what i'll be doing after april. there's a definite anxiety for the unknown, but also excitement. i can FINALLY do what i've spent the past however many years preparing for. i love counseling. i feel so invigorated after a good therapy session. i so love trying to figure people out. it's great to know that after all the mixed bag of ups and downs of school that i made the right choice and love what i'm doing. people often tell me they don't know how i can listen to people's problems all day long. all i can say is different strokes for different folks. i could never perform the duties of a surgeon, teacher or salesman, yet others are able to love those professions. it's what makes the world work. and i truly love what i do and am so happy/excited to be able to say that. i remember a distinct moment in my early adolescence where i was in the car with my mom and thought (after she had been talking-probably complaining-about her then job), "i want a career. i want to love what i do. i want to be in control of my work." and now, that is happening.

it's one of my dreams being realized. it's a goal that i'm about to accomplish. well, it's been many, many tiny goals leading up to the big finale on may 7. not just goals but sacrifices. and not just mine. brandon's too. let's not forget the things that he has done to support me. in so many ways. they are countless. he's my #1 fan. i should get him a t-shirt.

so, long story short, i'm feeling anxious but really excited about the next phase of my life. i don't know where life is going to take me. it's like a question i heard posed one time: what do you know, that you really know? it's kind of a trick question because in reality much of what you base your life on could turn out to be fallacy or change at the drop of a hat. so, enjoy the moment. you never know when or how it could change.

this post has gotten a lil philosophical and long so i should close. but thanks for reading my ramblings.

update

well, my quest turned out mostly successful. the weekend of martin luther king's b-day was a great one in which i did a little bit of everything. i studied for my upcoming comp. exam in february (aaaagh! it's coming up very soon!). i hung out with my sister, saw a friend perform at sugarhouse coffee, and went to game night at a friend's house. i then began scrapbooking for like, the first time in over a year. you see, my mother-in-law gives me scrapbook supplies for my birthday and christmas gifts every year. i love that. especially when i make the time to actually use them! since i had piled up an abundance of supplies and really want/need to get some books finished i decided to organize last year's photos and start working. i finished the whole book in one week! i was super motivated and now i'm accomplished. it's a great feeling. now, on to tackle the stacks of photos from other years. i swear, one day, i will be totally and completely caught up on scrapbooks.

i've kept up a little more balance since that weekend. i have been trying to do something i enjoy for part of each day. i also have been trying to maintain a sleep schedule. which as you can see by the time that this was posted i deviated from today and now, i am finding myself an insomniac.

i still take on too many things and am finding myself a bit overwhelmed at times, but i like being able to set time aside for all things necessary in my life. rather than freaking out about a to-do list and not getting anything done.

speaking of fun and exciting events: i went to a sundance film this past weekend. it was a bit strange and a bit funny but overall enjoyable. i was disappointed that i did not see any celebrities, which was my main reason for going. and i was even more disappointed by the fact that my sister went to park city the next day to hang out and saw pauly shore (one of my all-time favs!!) and tommy lee jones. she didn't even take a picture for me. jerk! krista, you know i'm kidding...mostly:) anyways, i did meet a celebrity this past weekend so i'm kinda okay with it. brandon and i went with some friends to wiseguys comedy club to see harland williams. he's in a bunch of movies like rocketman, sorority boys, and superstar, etc. he was freakin' hilarious. i laughed soooo hard i got a headache. after the show he did a meet and greet so i got a photo with him that i would love to share but for some reason i am having trouble downloading it from my phone onto the computer...trust me though, i did meet him.

an interesting tidbit about me: i freeze up when i meet celebrities. it's like i don't even know what to say or even my own name. after i left the comedy club all i could think about were awesome things i could have said to him that would make him like me so much that we become besties and i like fly to his house in LA or whereever for great and fabulous parties. it was like this another time when i was working at k-mart and a couple of members from social distortion came into the store. i love their music and really wanted a pic or autograph but i was too damn nervous to ask for one. instead i just like stalked them around the store. it's k though cuz they were sooo drunk i'd be surprised if they knew which way was up. but, i'm just like why couldn't i have been brilliant and hilarious and made an impression on them so they would have taken me back to their tour bus and i could have totally become a groupie???

this post has gotten pretty long. i'm surprised. and now i'm going to try to go back to sleep...

my weekend quest

lately i've been thinking, a dangerous past-time i know, about my stress level and trying to come up with a way to give myself a break from it because i know it will never be gone. just a break would be wonderful. anyways, after a fantastic lunch with a dear, dear friend i discovered some things about myself and have decided that because this weekend is a sweet four day weekend i am going on a quest. a quest to find some balance in my life. a quest to re-discover me. seems like i haven't been able to really enjoy the things i like to do. it always seemed tainted because my to-do list was hanging over my head. my goal for the entire weekend is to just do what i want when i want. well the real goal is to be able to enjoy that without the stress of things not done looming overhead. okay, let's be realistic, i won't be able to do that all weekend but i'm going to do it as much as i can. it's a sort of test. but i get test anxiety so i'll call it a quest. more to come on that.

the closest thing i've got to a new years resolution

i generally do not make new years resolutions, but i do try to constantly push myself in areas i feel i need to work on. recently, i discovered that i am never fully relaxed. i have gotten so used to carrying a certain amount of stress that it is unusual for me to be completely stress free. i've come to the conclusion that for me to fully de-stress i have to allow myself to be okay with the fact that yeah, i have stuff to do but it can all wait. that is the hardest thing for me. normally when i take time to relax or do something i enjoy i'm often thinking about the things on my list that aren't done. now that i've discovered that lil tidbit i'm struggling to figure out exactly how it happens. seems like when it has happened in the past, it's happened by accident. so, my goal for myself is to learn how to create that feeling on purpose. i will be a much better wife, sister, daughter, internee, student, friend, etc., if i am able to take some time to just be. so that is where i'm at. learning how to just be. brandon suggested transcendental meditation. i'm not so sure. even just typing those words was stressful. we shall see what comes of this. i'll keep you all posted for sure. if any of you have tips, feel free to share. anything will help at this point.

thank you and have a nice day:)

brandon's got a sexy head

while chatting with some friends in wendover a tall but skinny man with bloodshot eyes grabbed my husband's head and started pulling it towards him. he asked if he could kiss his head. brandon said, "what?!?! no!!" and began pushing the guy away. however, this man was persistent. he so desperately wanted to kiss my husband's head it was embarrassing. i just stood there in shock. no quite sure if they would brawl. it seemed like hours had gone by when finally my friend's boyfriend got the man to leave by shaking his hand and telling him it was cool. you see, this strange man had begun to apologize and insisted on getting an AOK from brandon before he would leave. so when my friends boyfriend told him it was cool he left...for a minute or two...when he came back to ask my friend's boyfriend about buying brandon a drink to apologize. i was very uncomfortable by this time and pretty sure brandon was going to throw down at any second. but alas, the stranger left-for good-and we continued on with our evening. brandon did assure me that a less cool guy would have gotten physical with the guy. boy am i grateful to be with such a cool guy!

sharing is caring

last night i was on my way to purchase some "spirit" for the party brandon and i were going to and as i was walking in a homeless-looking guy held the door open for me. i, of course said "thanks" and moved on. didn't really give it more thought than that. but as i was leaving he was still there. he asked if i could spare a little. my reply was that i didn't have any cash with me because giving money to street beggers is just against my personal philosophy. as i was walking away i realized it wasn't cash he was probably after. my first thought was "duh! he just wanted a little spirit to celebrate or warm up." my second thought was "i wonder if he he has a flask or cup to put it in because i certainly did not want to share his germies?" i should have gone back. my heart strings are tugged when a man will stand at the liquor store on new year's eve holding the door open for people and asking them for spare alcohol.